You could say I was a typical church kid growing up. Though I go to church every Sunday, when I was younger, I couldn’t really see the point of going every single Sunday. It seemed a bit too tedious for my liking. I knew I loved the Lord, but I didn’t enjoy church as much as people expected me to. Maybe I was just lazy, or maybe I just got bored easily, but it wasn’t until I was older that I came to appreciate church.
In grades kindergarten through eight I went to school at a Christian elementary school. Other than church and home, that was the place I was firmly rooted in my faith. The teachers there were a real encouragement to me as I went through the grades at that school. I made real friends through my experiences there.
Although I didn’t like church nearly as much when I was little as I do now, I loved Jesus, so when I was six I accepted Jesus for the first time. I remember being so pleased with myself and so happy. I realised that I could not make it to heaven on my own because I was a sinner. Jesus died on the cross to take away my sin because I couldn’t do it on my own. It is very hard for a child to really understand why their little sins should keep them out of heaven, but by age six understood that God sees all sins equally, and then I knew I was ready to be saved. When I was younger, I used to have a habit of accepting Jesus into my heart over and over again (every few months or so). I had this attitude that I knew I was going to heaven, but why not just except Jesus one more time just to be sure that he heard my prayers, and I was going to heaven. I did not understand that you only have to accept Jesus once, and then you are in his family of believers. I grew out of that habit once I was older because I now know that Jesus heard me the first time.
When I was eleven, my parents split up. I was extremely lost and angry for a while. Eventually I got over it, but this event left me weak in my faith. I wasn’t angry at God or my parents, or the world, but I distanced myself from God. I stopped praying every night, reading my Bible, and singing from my heart in church. When I was in church, instead of listening to the message, I would let my mind wander. I would sing in church just for the sake of singing, and the words would be empty. My spiritual flame was dwindling, and I suddenly was too busy for God. I knew that this event was part of God’s plan for my life, but I honestly could not see how ripping my family in half could do any good in my life or anybody else’s. This attitude went on for about two or three years. I would go to summer camp, or a youth retreat, and my flame for God would be burning bright again for about two weeks, but as I fell into regular routine with schoolwork and friends, my devotional got dusty, and God was pushed to the back of my mind.
At my grade eight graduation and the beginning of highschool, my life was turned in a different direction. At Grade eight grad, I was extremely sad to leave my good friends and my childhood behind. I knew that God has a plan for my life, but it was hard to let go of all that I knew and was so familiar with. I knew that I had to move on. When it came time for me to start highschool, I was nervous. Not because of so many new people I would be meeting, but because it would be so different than what I was so used to. I would be going from a Christian school to a catholic high school. It turns out going to a Catholic high school actually strengthened my faith, believe it or not. From when I was little I have been learning about God and how to serve him but I never had the chance to actually share my faith with others because I was always among people with the same beliefs as me. Being able to share what I believe with others was what strengthened my faith to the point where I felt the connection with God again. Being challenged by Catholics and people of other faiths has really caused me to think deeply about what I believe, leading to my change of heart.
I’m not saying that I’m a perfect Christian. Not by a long shot. I still fall into old habits and forget God sometimes, but I always come back to him and know he is my God. So when my relationship with my dad is rocky, I know I will always have my relationship with my heavenly dad that I can count on.
No comments:
Post a Comment