Be Still

As many of you know, Wes and I are expecting our second child at the end of the summer.  

This pregnancy has been so different than my other pregnancy.  

With Peyton, I found myself worried about every detail of the pregnancy, where this one God has really taught me to trust in Him and His plans.  

About a month and a half ago, I went to an ultrasound (it was actually the ultrasound I was supposed to learn the sex of the baby- via an envelope Wes and I would open together later on).  I was so excited and went to the small room, only to have the technician quietly go about her job.  I tried to ask questions, but really was not getting any answers (technically they are not able to answer any questions you ask - you have to ask your doctor).  After an hour in the room (and only seeing my baby 3 minutes of that hour), having the ultrasound technician call another one just to confirm what she saw, I was sent to see my OBGYN that same day.  

My heart sank.... this never happened with my first pregnancy, and something told me that something was wrong.  

The next few hours were the longest hours ever (and being as Wes was at work, and I had to work later on that day I was alone at home).  I thought about everything that my doctor could tell me about my baby.  

I tried everything to distract my mind but I kept coming back to the thought that what if my baby wasn't well.  

The one verse that kept me sane throughout this time was 

Psalm 46:10 

"Be still and know that I am God"

Whatever was to happen, it was in God's plan.  God's perfect plan.  

Finally, the time came and I made my way back to the OBGYN's office.  After what seemed like the longest half hour ever, and another listen to the heartbeat, he confirmed that nothing was wrong- but for some reason while at the ultrasound the baby's heart rate was not constant, but after listening to it once again it seemed fine to him.  

That being said-   6 weeks later, I can feel the beautiful kicks of my little baby (we have yet to find out boy or girl as we are now waiting until the big appearance).  With each kick (though some harder than others) I am constantly reminded of that verse and the fact that God knows this little one already and he has a beautiful plan for his/her life.  I am so blessed to be a part of that plan.